Only the beginning

There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world- you realize that there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.

I am my own hero. This is my story after all. You'd be a fool to think I'll ever again let myself fall damsel to the distress, I will have none of that. I want to fight with crashing blows. Let's see those sparks fly, feel the weight of the blade in my hand ready to strike again. Send a dragon my way, I'll hop on and gladly fly into battle. I once considered ducking for cover, but to give up now? Failure isn't an option. I want the risk, the thrill, I want to not know if I'll come out alive. These are my battles, my struggles to overcome. Don't expect me to tuck my tail at the peak of war, I will push back for the story must go on.

This tale isn't just a battle though, there are whole chapters devoted to learning and travelling into the unknown, to surviving. This life is one of adventure. You know how I know that? Because this is my story. Not only about me, but by me. I put the pen to the paper, I choose the words, the characters, the plot. I simply cannot put it down, we must always write on. The only thing I can't control are the reviews, and it's cute that you think I'd even give those the time of day.

Ruining someone else's story won't make yours read any better - I have decided this, even the villains creeping through my pages will never know the need to fear me. I am my own hero, and I will not use such darkness. You may wound me, but I will heal. There will be some dark that leaks into me though, like when you hold your pen down to the paper too long and an ugly blotch seeps out. But if I turn enough pages I will find myself trekking though a distant land far away from that ink blot. The sound of thundering hooves will hum in my ears as we fly across the land, ahead the mountains hide their peaks in the highest of clouds. I have always wanted to climb a cloud you know...

And to think, this is only the beginning. 

Onward

It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.

I always thought life would go up from here, that we could just keep climbing. But each mountain has a peak, and from there we go down. I was afraid for a little while what down would mean, as if it could undo the greatness of up. I have found that it is more the unwinding of up to go down. You can now see your rope, all its kinks and knots pulled so tight they are woven into fate for good. These are the lessons we take to the next leg of the journey, for we can never go up enough. I am settled though in this time to see that I am not yet ready to climb again. We are pushing forward in a different way, growing stronger every day. Simply waiting to stumble upon a challenge to stump us. I want to be confused and frustrated. I want to fall and fail and not understand again.

Onward has become an important place for me to travel to, these last few months have been magic. I shall not explain the place I was, but it was stagnant filled with unwanted vibes of the negative kind. With some removing of people, I was able to look up again to see what was ahead. Except I couldn't...I saw more though, I still see more. I see now. I see the happy every day. I see what I've come from and how far away it is. I see the clouds crashing through the sky like great waves that never hit shore.  I see the sunlight peak through the leaves when we get lost on purpose in the woods, I could hike forever if life would let me. I can enjoy these things, these things of now. I talk a lot about the future, which is hogwash really. There is only now, only this moment and what we do with it. Every now I will step forward and one of those steps will lead up again. Perhaps I will be too busy with life and love to see it happening, but when failure hits I'll be ready to get back up.

And up, and up we shall go embracing the struggle as an old friend, ready to duel once again. 

Sweet Certainties

There is a certain sweetness in this world brought to life by a dog.

For all my troubles, Whim has always been my reason to smile. She is my happy, and she never fades. We go with the flow, this journey is far from perfect and we know it. The language we speak cannot be studied or taught, it has been built. Miss steps don’t happen because we have no routine to follow, we either understand or we do not. On occasion she cannot read me, and more often than not I say the wrong thing. Perhaps there have been moments when cues are lost in translation, but despite this barrier we persist.We push on, push back. We take it one step at a time, and go every step of the way. We roll with the punches, and hang on tight.

Things will not always go as planned; this can be terrible if we are willing to see it as such. I would never tell you that failure doesn’t bother me. I want nothing more than to converse on course with ease, but this does not mean I have to be upset. If we look we can see the beauty in failure, and the lessons behind miscommunication. Simply put, we do not aim for boxes in this journey. We only wish to learn.

There are two certain outcomes here at the EO for Whim and me, the first being that we will leave understanding more than before. The second is a look…that shared smile at the end of each run. The look I get every night when my girl comes in for snuggles. The look I see each morning I wake up to kisses. This look will persist. My happy will never fade this I am certain of. 

And all that you are is all that I need

One Day

This past weekend I was asked if S'more was my next world team dog. 

I've come to the conclusion that no, she is not.

If we are ahead of schedule- maybe -we will tackle novice next summer. Maybe one day we will do 26", just maybe. Right now she is 15" tall...so we are quite a ways from teaching her to jump. We will learn lots of things, and jumping is sure to be one. But first comes the important stuff, like not herding the shelties, and walking on leash, and mastering fetch. We are quickly being educated on why you do not jump on the little mean sheltie, turtle. (She bites). We will learn how to chase and then not to chase rabbits like Whimzy. Oh, learning to not launch full force at mom would be helpful. 

A face full of S'more is only good in theory.

I unfortunately did not buy a world team dog. All I have is a bombproof wannabe tri, who amazes me in every way. Which is exactly what I intended to buy. We don't know agility yet, and agility doesn't know us. We won't get acquainted for quite some time. The truth is I've never bought a world team dog, although I hear some people have. Or they say they have, personally I find it a bit hard to look that far ahead. I simply have a puppy, we will be young and grow together. No expectations, she isn't to further my career or a ticket. I would never imagine that this is what someone means when they ask - "Will she do 26?" or "Is she your next international dog?"

I am certain that these questions are not meant in a malicious way- but to me putting that pressure on a puppy is too much. Maybe some people can buy a world team dog, raise it a world team dog, and go be world team. But I already have the world- a whole new one. A creature I will become beyond obsessed with, a partner in crime. One day we will share a journey to faraway places with big dreams and a whole lot of heart driving us forward.  We will stumble, and I'll mess up when it really counts. It'll be funny, and a little disappointing too. But we will learn to run like blue fire. We will chase down the magic. But one day is not today for my S'more. Today we learned to stay, even when mom throws the toy.

She rocked it. 

S'more 3 Months- Video

There are No Mistakes

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.

There are no mistakes. No take backsies, no redos, no "oopsies". What we encounter are choices, and sometimes we make bad choices. We flub up, it happens. What shouldn't happen is regret, whatever has happened has already happened. It's over- like I said there are no take backsies or redos. We either learn, or we live in the past...or even worst we live to repeat the past, again and again.

This would be a lesson I learned from my mother, even though I didn't always realize it I learned to think the way I think because of her. There are people who think change isn't necessary, they clearly did not encounter my mother's wisdom. They think that they are perfect just the way they are. Personally we would call that an inflated ego... but to each his own. I used to think these people could be helped, that maybe if you suggest change or even insist upon it that they could see how growing is the answer. I am still too young, too foolish perhaps to have realized this is a bad choice. Attempting to initiate change for someone else is an impossible task, and keeps you living in the past.  The only thing we encounter are choices- our own choices. We can watch old tapes and ponder the "what ifs" off the past, or we can move on to create an opportunity better than the last for ourselves. We can choose to change, to learn, to grow. Just because someone can change doesn't mean they will, and certainly not unless they have the willpower to do so.

We may not control all the circumstances, and we cannot control the outcome of someone else's results. But I know that I will always be in control of my own choices, that I can make bad ones and still learn something from it. I will not live in the past mourning over poor handling, a bad call, an "oopsie". Because there are no mistakes, and there is no point treating this life as if it is full of flaws. To those of us who see a future brighter than yesterday, those flaws are perhaps the key to understanding how to step forward even stronger than before. 

All it takes is a step towards something new- something to look forward to. 

Take It

A negative mind will never give you a positive result.

Negative results come from internal negativity- from nerves and anger and hastiness. It is simple to see the difference in our dogs, in our results.

While teaching I have the ultimate pleasure of annoying dogs and handlers with distractions until we hit a breaking point. Break it to fix it, an easy way to improve. But often I find that the behaviors are not externally caused, but are entirely an emotional response. A nervous handler produces a dog pushed to edgy, anxious, restless and uneasy. They can hear our emotions in our voice, in the way we move; too nervous, too angry, too excited- before we step to the line we’ve already NQ’d.

We have a rule in my house- if you’re not in the mood to play, don’t play. There is true value in agility to being happy- all it takes is a deep breath and a smile.

Deep breathing has calming effects- your body receives more oxygen, your heartbeat is lowered, and stress is reduced. Smiling has a happy effect- your body releases endorphin and serotonin just from a simple smile.

I am the first to say that when I was younger I was not the best competitor…my first step to fixing this was with a smile. I smiled for agility, for my dog.  Even if I didn’t feel like smiling, I smiled. Even if I felt beyond frustrated and disappointed, I really tried to smile. I taught myself to not get mad- what a horrid feeling mad is during agility... it is negative, it is stagnant and it does not help. Agility requires calm and happy to move forward, to learn. You don’t have to burst into song after every run or party after an NQ- but there is value in a laugh at yourself, a smile and a deep breath.

Here we find the balance between outrageous and doubtful. Being so jazzed up you can barely think straight is just as detrimental as doubting your performance of every obstacle. There is a place for each of us in calm- the mental state where both the positive and negative are in clear focus.

The other day we ran a Sascha Grunder course in preparation for tryouts. A late front cross, a wide turn, an almost off course- I stopped running here…this was not the run I wanted, not the run I walked.  I took a breath and smiled, I clapped for my girl- she got treats and praise and I got a second chance at the sequence I flubbed. Practice makes perfect- not just for agility, but also for mentality. I am still learning, still practicing this aspect of a mental game. In a state of frustration I know I am unable to assess my mistakes, but taking a moment to save the experience makes the difference. Positive results flow from positive thinking- learning needs to be a positive experience. A bigger send and a better collection cue fixed my poor handling- we learned, we were happy, we were successful.

Take a breath. Take a smile. Take the experience for all it is worth. 

Push Back

You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standards and when you reach beyond your limits, that is real joy.

We were pushed outside our comfort zone last weekend by an unfortunate bar and some miscommunication. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't upset, I very much was. I handled the turn poorly and Whimzy hung her feet over the jump, it sucked. For the most part I was certain we were out, done, over...but we did have a choice: quit or push back. I'll be honest in saying I had little hope, pushing is a recently developed skill of mine. But the little hope I had saw an opportunity to develop a skill we are still mastering as a team. We had no choice but to push on, and push we did.

It is easy to back down from a challenge when you can play it safe, but success is pushing your limits and watching them back down.  It is easy to play inside your comfort zone, but nothing great ever came from comfort zones. Easy is stagnant, it is complacent. Happiness comes from challenges, they are our opportunity to take back the journey forward. That's all I want, forward motion. With every step we will push back the limits, whether we fail or succeed does not matter. Pushing back is an experience, and a thrill, to show you where your limits are so you can push on them again, and again.

Get Pushed. Push Back.

Just Different.

I suppose it is healthy to realize that nothing will please everyone, everyone is different. I say “I can”- to some I’m egotistical. I say “I can’t” (even jokingly)- to others I’m negative. Teach something one way, please three people and three people hate it. I say “You can do it”, and according to some I’m acting like I’m better than everyone. I assure you I am not better, and I do not claim to be. Don’t be like me, I’ve made lots of mistakes with my attitude and handling and goals. I’ve gotten too high on my horse. I’ve been bitter. I’ve pulled my dogs off jumps when it matters most. I’ve gotten lost. I’ve set goals to win instead of learn. Do not be like me. Not that I’m saying you’d want to be like me- I am most definitely not saying that- maybe you think I suck. That’s cool- really it is. Maybe I do suck. I don’t mind if you don’t like me, I just wish there was a way to convey how I feel without people taking it the wrong way. Impossible, I know.

 In my last post, I talked about my dogs. Our accomplishments and failures, about the things we will not be capable of. But I in no way meant it to come off as “do this and you can be like me” or "look how good I am".  I am just happy to know I picked the paths that make my dogs happiest...maybe my accomplishments aren't impressive. Maybe my dogs are slow, or poorly trained- that's your opinion. Regardless of dogs or titles or styles, the truth is I am different than you. Not better, not worse…just different –I truly mean this...comparison is inaccurate. How can you rank handlers with different breeds, in different heights, with different styles, with different accomplishments? 

I am different with different dogs. You cannot compare Jenna to Whimzy. You cannot compare Jenna to Ally, or Ally to Nikki, or Nikki to Islay, or Jack to Whimzy, or Astro to Jenna, or Oz to Ally, or Kenzie to Whimzy, or Rigby to Islay. That is 4”, 8”, 12”, 16”, 20”, 24” and 26”- no two heights are the same. No two dogs run the same, even with the same handler. Comparison is bullshit. If I am different from one dog to the next, I can certainly say that I am different from every other handler. Every other handler is also different from me. Excuse my rambling, the point is don’t think I want you to be like me- not that you’d want to be- I do not expect people to see me run or read my blogs and want to be like me- not that you’d want to be. I don't write for compliments or likes or to brag (I really hate bragging), I write to remind myself of the things I've learned and as motivation to practice what I preach. I want to be the best version of myself- what I want for all my friends and students too. I am far from there yet, I still have lots of things to do and try and learn. There are many, many things that I do not know... However, I do know that I like seeing people do well. I like hearing people rave about their dog. I like when my students tell me they learned something new from a different trainer. I like new challenges and growing. I like the concept of staying humble, of staying positive, and I practice them as well as I can. I know I like being different- not better, not worse. Just different.

I may not be the best, but I am definitely not like the rest.

Find Your Niche

Not every dog can be on world team. Not every dog can be a national finalist. Not every dog can go to the invitationals. Not every dog can jump their measured height. 

These are things that are not always fun to realize as a handler- but for our dogs it can be an amazing thing. As someone who enjoys running dogs of all heights and at all levels, I can easily say that finding the right path for your dog is beautiful. Every dog has their niche- this is not to say you shouldn’t shoot for the stars. There are no limits in my mind, our dogs are capable of incredible things. But we do agility for our dogs- their happiness and well being should always come first.

When I was just seven my lhasa apso, Jack, started having trouble jumping 12”, we moved him to 8” preferred as a solution. From what I remember there was no PAX or PACH title in AKC then. Jack and I were not capable of such a title regardless of it being available...the important thing was that those 4” lower made a huge difference for my stubborn little blonde dog. Since then I have run several dogs in the preferred program, and I appreciate that all our venues offer this option for our dogs. I even had the pleasure of running in 20” Preferred Finals at last year’s AKC Nationals with Nikki the Doberman, a week later we finished her PACH. I cannot begin to say how proud I am of that dog, our journey together was as special to me as the journey I take with my own dogs.

I now have two 2 year old dogs, a lab and a border collie, both different and very educational. I know many great things await both of them in agility, and I do not know where they will take me. But I do know neither of these dogs will ever come with me to tryouts. Not because they cannot handle the challenges, I have total faith that they will both be able to run technical courses with ease one day. But because 26” is simple not for them, we will have different goals and different dreams to follow.

Similarly my girl Whimzy will never go to the AKC Invitational. While a competitive and challenging event, we are simply not the team that can manage the astonishing amount of points those teams are capable of. We have too many silly mistakes to be Top 5 in our breed. This year I attended the Invitational to watch and support my friends entered down in Orlando. It is continuously one of the most brilliant representations of each breed you will ever see, and makes for some fantastic handlers. I would love to attend one day, but not with Whimzy. It is simply not her path.

Speaking of paths, let’s get one thing straight: there are NO “lesser” paths in agility. No embarrassing heights, accomplishments, or dogs. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool, you should never be ashamed to play agility with your dog. Please do yourself and your dog a favor and find people who support your goals in this sport. Finding your niche does not mean giving up on your dreams, it means you are capable of aiming for success and taking it! I am beyond proud of my dogs, at every height and level. I learn from their issues and we tackle challenges together. We are all different, no dog is the same. Not every dog will have the same path, the one and only thing I want for all my dogs is a smile from them at the end of every run.

Find your path for your dog and your goals- then follow it.

Only Our Best

The time of year has come to assess and set goals, and I expect only the best for this year. Goals, of course, are largely centered on expectations, and how we use them. I was taught that expectations are a deadly thing to have in that they cause disappointment when set too high. I have also come to find that without expectations we cannot hold ourselves accountable for our performance. It is a crappy decision to walk to the line expecting to win the class, however I expect to run clean. Expectations should be set on ourselves, not others. I cannot control which dog is faster than mine. I cannot control if there is a better handler. I cannot control who wins. Setting expectations on aspects of competition you cannot control is setting yourself up for failure. This is something I accept every year, before every competition. I accept the possibility of blown criteria and of horrible runs. In reality it is possible, although it is our job to defy this outcome. We can control these things; these are the things I will not accept without a fight. Only expect and accept the best you can bring.

Expectations set on your own performance keep you honest. It is easy to fail and brush it off claiming you did not have any expectations. You may fool others, but you aren’t fooling yourself. Realistically expectations are necessary to tell us where improvement is needed. If you expect crap, you’ll accept crap. I expect the best of myself, and I will strive to reach the best I have to offer on every run.

I would love to say my goals for 2015 are already set, but frankly they’re just abstract concepts at the moment. Truthfully I’m still busy fixing all that was wrong in 2014, looking back I don’t know how we survived 2014 without the skills we have now. 2013 was a mess in itself and the start of Whimzy’s reform. We are educating each other on this sport, on turns and tunnels and quick releases. We have so much to learn, I want to know we are using every opportunity to its fullest. I will not accept crap and I will not set crappy expectations. We shall aim to get the job done, and let the chips fall where they may. Whimzy is not the fastest dog in the country. I am not the most skilled handler in the country. We are not the best, but I expect nothing than our best this year. 

Over Pressure

Get tough. Don’t work under pressure. Work over pressure. 

There is something to be said for reliable handlers. It is an art within handling to handle pressure well. You may survive, get lucky, get by, but when faced with pressure tackling it straight on is the only sure way to overcome it. However, as with all exercises, the more often you tackle pressure the easier it becomes. A full-fledged attack on your insecurities soon becomes the ability to get over the pressure before the pressure gets you down. But as with everything I suggest, this is not a quick fix. No one goes from crumbling under pressure to soaring over it in a day, or even a week. 

You must be brave. You must take failure.You must learn, and try again. When it gets tough, know you can put down a clean run. You cannot tell yourself you’ll nail it, "as long as you don’t mess up." These are mental lapses that tell us negative things like “Don’t do that” and “Not to do this." This is setting yourself up for a nasty fall, a negative mind trap circling your inner most thoughts around unavoidable failure. Stand on the start line of any course and know subconsciously that you’ve got this. One voice, one message, and one goal: You’ve got this. Not the course or the win, but you have jump one. You have jump two. You have that cross after jump five. You have every step, from start to finish- you’ve got this. It’s not over till the leash is on the dog.

True courage is stepping to the line ready to take on every step. Handling pressure with grace is handling with ease, keeping calm when all hell breaks loose on a run. Strong mental game does not mean perfection is guaranteed…far from. Things go wrong, you’ll make mistakes. But learning to save runs, to not let go, to hang on to every foot of every run is just as important as knowing how to run clean in the first place. Mistakes are only fatal if we give up as they are happening. Pressure cannot only build our doubts, but replace our goals with low expectations. It’s easy to handle pressure thinking you’ve already lost. We associate pressure with eminent failure. This is not the case. Pressure only produces failure when we are already ready to quit. We see ourselves fall under pressure, as if it can stop us. Use pressure to push yourself to be tougher, to be braver, to go higher. Work with the pressure as motivation to keep going up. When the going gets tough, get tougher.

You’ve got this.

Courage is grace under pressure.

          ^over

Approaching Change

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Progress is not a onetime thing. No quick fixes, it isn’t a short term commitment. It is a detailed process. It isn’t enough to wake up one morning and decide to be faster or be a better handler. True improvement is broken down and tackled one piece at a time. This process starts with an open mind, accepting that even what isn’t broken can be better. We don’t just decide to be something else; we dissect the old to recreate what can be.

It isn’t possible to go from one big picture to the next, you have to look at every pixel and understand its purpose. For example, there are wide turns and slow turns, but just training for tighter, faster turns is too vague. Break it down:

Is it a lack of information before the dog takes off?

Is your dog over collecting or under collecting?

Do they turn on takeoff or landing?

 Does the dog lack of body awareness?

Do you cue the turns late or too early?

 Do you babysit too long?

 What about conditioning and flexibility?

Now, how do you fix each of those things? This is the process of improvement, now you can finally begin to change, to grow. If you break down your goals correctly, you will soon find ten goals in one. Goals are meant to be specific, individual tasks to breakdown the very foundation of your handling, of your training to simply be rebuilt stronger and better.

This was the process Whimzy and I now train under, one detail at a time. Last year, after the 2014 AKC Nationals, I sat down and looked at Whimzy’s performance. Not to admire a job well done at our first national event together. I took this snapshot of our career, this single event, and decided what to fix, where we could improve. I learned here that things don't need to be broken in order to be fixed. It isn't always fun to break apart a nice, clean run to see what is wrong- however, if you can see this process as finding unused potential it becomes exciting to see how much time you have to make up every run. We once had a two and a half second teeter, a clean performance that also wasting time. We now have a 1 second flat teeter- consistently in practice and in show. This is just one aspect of our teeter performance I changed; we also improved this one obstacle three other ways, slowly building on to our toolbox of skills. This is one obstacle out of twenty on any given course…there are so many other places to perfect. We are still improving from that point 10 months ago. We still are nowhere close to fixing all the things that were not broken but could be improved. To be honest we will never reach a point of perfection, that isn't the goal. It isn't about being perfect, or being the best of the best. We aim simply to be the best we can be. We broke it down to begin building a better version of us- Whimzy and Kathleen 2.0

All we needed to start was an open mind and a goal. 

The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Go Get It.

Getting ahead comes down to four simple steps to get success.

Get over yourself. Get a plan. Get going. Get back up.

Don’t get me wrong, you’re probably pretty good. But if you want to “get ahead” that means you aren’t ahead of where you want to be. To get there you need to get over your own ego. Now don’t twist this into something negative when it doesn’t have to be. There is a significant difference between hating on yourself and staying humble.  Perhaps saying “get over yourself” seems harsh, so let’s look at it another way: Lisa Frick has 4 FCI Agility World Championships, that’s four individual combined gold medals. I think we can all agree that she’s knows what she’s doing and is pretty near perfect at agility. Are you better than Lisa Frick? Probably not…if you really are, kudos- I’ll hire you for a seminar on the spot.

I'm sure you all answered "No." in your head. Here's the thing, this isn’t about comparing yourself to Lisa Frick, that would be quite negative-as your mental "No" proves-comparing is a useless activity as it is. You should not have to compare to Lisa, or to anyone, to be proud of your own accomplishments. No part of success requires you to be better or to get better than Lisa. Comparison in your mind is letting your ego talk for you, good or bad, this little voice does you no favors. This is about the word “near”. One of the most accomplished handlers in the history of agility is near perfect, but even she has taken a silver medal once or twice.  If you’d like proof- just look at one of the best displays of agility sportsmanship I’ve seen: Click Here

Getting over yourself means making room for learning and fun, this is a game- not a battle to the death. There is no room to compare yourself to others if you wish to get ahead- let go of this inner battle to sooth your ego now.Similarly, if you think you are the best already, you’re not going to be the best anytime soon. Whether you think you're too good or too bad, you're shooting yourself in the foot. Last time I checked we need both our feet to do agility!

Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.

The next steps come as a pair- get a plan and get going. Neither is useful alone- you can have the most ingenious plan out there; if you aren’t moving you aren’t reaching the goal. On the flip side, going without a direction is downright foolish and a waste of energy. Failing to plan is planning to fail- success is the accumulation of goals. It isn’t so much “Step 1, Step 2, Step 3”, but humor me perhaps and see success as a continuing education. The things you learn are constantly reapplied to complete each goal in your journey. Steps put you at a new level each time leaving the last step behind, but success isn’t a staircase to the top. You aren't following a path, you are creating your dreams. It is the act bettering of yourself, you are building your future.

Good thing this journey isn’t straight up a flight of stairs because getting knocked down would be quite the nasty fall. And for some it is, although it doesn’t have to be. It is easy to say you shouldn’t be discouraged by mistakes or even failure. And I won’t say failure doesn’t exist, it does, but only if you let it. You’ll notice “Get back up” isn’t “Don’t fall”. You’re going to fall, sometimes it sucks. I’d be lying if I told you that I’m never disappointed by a run or by my handling. You don’t have to fall on your ass laughing like a maniac every time. Sometimes it sucks, hell, take it to heart. Figure out what you did wrong. Get back up. Get back out there. This is the point in your journey that will make or break you. Either you have the will to keep going, or you don’t. It is a simple choice- you have all the tools, all you need to do is go get it. 

Day by day I'm getting better and better.

Hello

Hello 2015,

I’m not sure what we are going to make of each other, but I have eagerly awaited your arrival. However, you are not the most important thing on my mind. Actually, I’ve decided that you’re rather unimportant. You are just a number assigned to a new “start”, but this isn’t the beginning. This is the continuation of an education I both crave and find I need. You are just a number, 2015. A number filled with ever more important numbers, roughly 365 of them. That big number comes down to one though, because this journey must be taken one day at a time. It isn’t five days from now, or fifty days from now that matter most. It is today that things will begin to change, that is…if you choose to do something today.

I would love to look at 2015 and magically find myself climbing the steepest, most glorious mountain of my dreams. But truthfully, I cannot see the rest of 2015 from here. I can only see what is here and now, the opportunity to make the most of every day. I am once again in the valley, already trekking up the foothills of new adventures. We shall stay humble in this new set of numbers; we shall learn we shall grow. We may stumble, we may fall, or perhaps we’ll find ourselves a beautiful new view of the world. I don’t know what awaits us at the top or if we’ll even make it. All I know is that it will be one hell of a ride with this girl by my side.

One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be trouble about the future for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. Happiness is a journey 

So hello 2015,  

You are just a number, and I am just a girl with a dog.