Adding On.

I took just the border collie on a walk this morning. It’s hard to leave whim home. Whim has been my everything for nearly seven years. I keep telling myself that this new journey is good. It’s not moving on. It is adding on. It’s just hard to leave whim home. It’s hard not to feel like I’m shortening her career by giving time to s’more.

This dog needs me, and not just half of me. I could ration out my energy, giving her what is left over from whim. Half of me, half of my time, half of my energy would be, and is, unfair. She should give her whole heart in this journey to receive less in return? That is not the way to build a team. I would be lying to say she hasn’t taken the backseat to whim’s career. She stays home many weekends, and many months she does not train. This month, for example, is whim’s month as we prepare for FCI Agility World Championship in two weeks. It is not a simple process to be in sync as a team, so I give whim my all before we head to big events.  This has served us well, but this is also what s’more has not yet gotten from me.

I keep plotting to take whim with forever, and it feels like letting go if I think anything else. The transition to a new dog is challenging and beautiful, like learning a new language. I have yet to communicate fluidly with s’more. I’m still doing most of the talking. I need to listen and learn to understand her. She will not speak to me the way whim does, and I cannot force her into that role.  



I am not giving up on whim by investing in s’more. I am not taking away from whim to give to s’more. This dog needs me too. I’m going to give myself more to her this year. Whim can share, and I can start a new story without ending one.

You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.